My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
