if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
