Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
actually, I'm a sock model
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
