Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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