I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
