Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
