im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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