I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize