yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
