he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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