She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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