How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
