I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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