When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
