yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
