honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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