yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
