I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
