yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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