Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
