Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Can Purell be used as lube?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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