Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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