You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
