We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
