This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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