if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
