it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
