OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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