oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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