dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
