I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
