Buhtt sex?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
