I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
