i don't like sucking hair
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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