I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Pants are for mortals
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
