my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
