and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
