I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
