You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Drunk is not a location!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
