so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
