is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
