She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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