but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
