do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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