no. you can't hotbox the world.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
