Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
