honey bunches of taint.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
