margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
