Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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