she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
